dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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