ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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