Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
