whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
