i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
