Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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