We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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