And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
