xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
