I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She announced her abortion via fbk
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
