dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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