There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
