i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
