On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
