EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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