Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
being pregnant is like rehab
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
