Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
