Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
