it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
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