Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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