I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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