with your own penis?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
