she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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