but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
