What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize