my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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