I looked at my own cervix.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
