He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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