That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
