in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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