jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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