I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
