Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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