It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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