Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
