I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
