As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
