actually, I'm a sock model
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
