you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
