hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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