Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
