sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize