he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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