My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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