my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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