I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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