am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Randomize
