if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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