do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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