drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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