Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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