No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Houston, we have a blender
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
