Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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