you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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