Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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