the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
