how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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