And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
